Thursday, August 18, 2016

Trader Joe's and Limited Edition Junk

 I kept hearing people rave about these, so I managed to get my hands on a bag. The first impression is of sweet broccoli, and nuttiness. The smell wafts invitingly out of the bag. I can see what all the fuss was about. Delicious. The florets are perfectly, satisfyingly crunchy. Whatever they do to make these things, the end result is light and crisp, not dense or hard. My only complaint is that they don't stand up well to being shoved in a box with a bunch of things and shipped great distances. Mine are... crumbs, mostly. Ah, well. Can't have everything.

I forgot to take a picture, but the other Trader Joe's snack I got at the same time was their Pickle in a Popcorn. Pickle-flavored popcorn. They mean what they say. This isn't too vinegar-heavy, but it absolutely captures the briney, dilled experience. I ate a bunch in one sitting. And then I had pickle burps for hours. :/

Ghostbusters Key Lime Slime Twinkies! I love key lime, and was very interested to see if a tart filling would somehow make a twinkie appealing to me. Nope. The filling is sparse and blandly sweet.

Chocolatey Caramel Pop Tarts are okay. The filling is chewy, discernible caramel. The chocolate is mild and easily lost, typical of chocolate pop tart pastry. Very sweet.

Pop Tarts Crush Orange. Whoa. Whoa! I don't know how, but they managed to get the filling to taste exactly like a glass of Orange Crush. It's uncanny. Whether that was a good idea, on the other hand.. Bleh. It's over-sweet, and jarring. But spot on. It's made me nervous to try the A & W Root Beer iteration.

Not pictured, but def. included and eaten:

Pop Tarts A&W Root Beer. Well. The first smell, and bite, really hit the nail on the head. A&W Root Beer, with a touch of creaminess (like a rootbeer float). Before I'd truly decided if Root Beer Pop Tarts were a good thing or a bad thing, the flavor changed. Sweet, and bland were all that was left. Except for when I ate a bit of the pastry by itself. That was a bad idea. They added some sort of flavoring to the crust, in addition to turning it a light brown color (this halfway between plain and chocolate). Whatever they did, the crust alone is bitter and off-tasting. I finished one tart, but the second one is too much. Ugh.

Watermelon Pop Tart. Damn my morbid curiosity. And whatever person decided on the candy approximation of watermelon flavor. It tastes nothing like the real thing. The filling in these babies is perfectly artificial watermelon. Unfortunately, as a child I chewed too much watermelon Bubble Yum for my brain to understand that they could exist separately, and as a result all of this watermelon flavored stuff makes my brain expect gum. (Watermelon Oreos are the other big one I've experienced this with.) My brain says "This is gonna be springy and chewy" and then it's pastry and my whole life is ruined.

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